Excuse you. I got a father who wants to spend his ill-gotten hedge-fund money on giving me the most Special Day EVER. And if that mean $1000 shorts, he's doing it!

Omigod my shoes are the header of a Jezzie post! That is my foot!

lol let me die

not if you are a spider

Tens of thousands of Boston-area men offering her cunnilingus right now.

One telling fact from the criminology field: Atheists were almost absent from our prison population as of the late 1990s, comprising less than half of 1% of those behind bars, according to Federal Bureau of Prisons statistics. This echoes what the criminology field has documented for more than a century — the…

Adultosaur has become the e.e.cummings of Jez.

I just want to be her best friend so, so bad.

Ah, your stepdad has a circumcised penis. You're welcome.

Seriously though, what happened to all the cool and thoughtful movies about "American Heros," like "Pattton" and "Boogie Nights"?

I think that's fine.

This will play right into my faux-environmentalist persona. Thanks Omar.

There is just so much going on here. Fake military service, Juggalo, Parkour, living with his mother, a Prius, displays of masculinity with a Airsoft pistol, hating women, Islamic assasins, vitriolic ramblings and gaming enthusiast. Yes, he is mentally ill and yet there is no shortage of people who support him. Gosh,…

Give Seattle credit. As the defending champion heel, they tried to get DQ'd at the end and keep the title belt. Flair would be proud.

Bruce Wayne is a fascist who uses his extreme wealth to help him go around beating up poor people. Totally "good."

You'd think someone this upset about the OK City bombing would focus on players endorsing Vans.

All Day I Dream About Salvation

Jesus Christ. This is a great article (you are becoming one of my favorite writers on here) and I'm so sorry you're going through all this.

But I thought you were gay!