Russell Wilson is the regular flavored ice cream of sports. He’s a pleasant drive through Vermont. He’s that feeling you get after that foot cramp goes away. Fuck that guy.

I’ve heard the hoax one before, that he was somehow building a suspicious looking clock to get some sort of reaction. Which is true, but the reaction he wanted was “cool clock,” not “bah, terrorist!”

I love the fact that Chinese are on her list of approved races.

Fucking brilliant!

I was fooling around with my then girlfriend at my new apartment and the curtains hung long and low to the ground. Whilst rolling around, we both rolled over one of the curtains and the whole assembly came crashing down on me. The anchor from the rod tore a half inch hole in the wall and the rod itself bloodied my…

I heard it’s actually against the law to sleep in NYC.

Yeah, but isn’t that everybodys expectation of NYC?

Well, I bet you weren’t in front of a couple hundred people being videotaped while they all laughed at you. I get it, you like the guy and so do I, I just think it was a shitty thing to do.

I was in Tupelo, now in Atlanta for the night. The south is a massively different environment than I’m used to.

On a cross country road trip with my best buddy! Just had BBQ in Tupelo, Mississippi, on our way to Georgia then NYC, and finally Burlington, VT. This is great!

Not everybody makes fun of a teenage fan in a public forum by saying they fucked his mom.

Still and all though...he was an Albuquerque kid, and we love our Breaking Bad. Being charming doesn’t excuse the fact that it was still a shitty thing to do, in my opinion.

I liked him up until that point really. I’m sure he’s a pleasant guy 99% of the time, but he basically told a nervous teenager to fuck off and the whole auditorium laughed at the kid. That’s not funny, it’s just mean.

Obama had to nix the first choice for the rename, Mount Kunta Kinte.

Not being “street” enough was basically the whole storyline for Stringer.

I kinda wish he had the opportunityto ramble on for, like, 20 minutes, while the kids just slowly start breaking down in the class. Just crying and him telling them “how it really is” or some shit.

She is literally the same age as me, down to the day. I have a feeling that, somehow, I’m doing much better than she is right now.

We New Mexicans do two things very well: make breakfast burritos that will make your toes curl, and commit massive amounts of crimes.

Waiting for the “but the boy wanted it and he loved it!” crowd to come out of the woodwork. Also, I’m watching Mea Maxima Culpa right now and I’m a little angry at this shit.

You put that shit on Ramen flavoring after cooking the noodles then stir it in. Suddenly the poverty tastes a little better.