This was funny, but when I saw the title on Twitter it really god my hopes up that he had been fired.

Soooo..this was the first draft of the Big Bang Theory?

When I was in college I colored my school’s mascot’s balls blue with chalk. I thought it was hilarious. It took forever to wash off too, because rain didn’t really reach down there. And tour groups always stopped at the statute, so you get a group of giggling 16 year olds a few times a week.

Go easy on him, he’s a Clipper fan. Even if you change owners, the stink remains.

Congratulations on being one of the assholes ruining a once good site.

You can’t profit off of what you can’t control.

Honestly, as a Browns fan, the NFL canning Gordon over weed while they get players hooked on painkillers and permanently turn their brains to mush was the straw that broke the camel’s back and made me finally stop watching.

But Josh Gordon is gonna have his career ruined because of weed.

I don’t know how those work. For months I keep seeing something about that Barbara Corcoran from Shark Tank and her amazing tip to pay off your mortgage

well you’re here aren’t you? internet - 1 you - 0

did you see who we made president or

Can I just remind you that the original reason they got a reality show is because a morbidly obese white trash mother had a morbidly obese white trash family and specifically a fat rednecky child who entered beauty pageants and people enjoyed laughing at them? What a time to be alive.

Is this somehow purposefully picking up on the thousands of weird “You won’t believe what Mama June looks like now!” ads that I get in Twitter and Facebook? Because that is WEIRD and I do not know why the internet thinks I need that marketing.

This is good news for Ezeli, but I am sad to hear about Greg Oden’s passing.

Yeah, seriously. I work out not because i believe it to be “hedonism” but because I feel like it’s a chore I have to do if I want to give myself the night of blow, weird sex, and liquors poured on and around my mouth i feel i deserve. Hedonism is a gin martini with a cocaine rim that someone has to hold up to my…

Some of these suggestions sound like they could be fun and/or relaxing. But I think you and I have very different definitions of the word if you call exercising and then spritzing your face “hedonism”.

This one time I walked in on my husband and some hooker going at it in the back of his van. They were doing some freaky stuff and had this dildo hard-wired through the seat or some crazy crap. What a bastard! I pulled out my gun and fired 8 shots. 6 shots put holes in the van and I have no idea where the other 2 went.

I guess we now know why you wanted to speak to a CNN employee a few weeks ago...

Yeah! If he says faggot he must be a homophobe. What a jerk! #cancelcolbert