Fish having trouble with women. Maybe Matt Barnes can help?

Bright spot for United supporters - nothing points to an impending run of good fortune like Billy calling you dead.

An over-reliance on the regurgitation of cliches is how you know he’s a real athlete.

I won’t pronounce him back until I hear a good tirade directed at his player’s box.

then-world No. 69 Tennys Sandgren

Sometimes the universe actually does spit out an outcome that isn’t the worst one possible. 

First Jaguars Junction, now The Blowhole? I anxiously await Deadspin’s next column on Florida’s NFL franchises, The Sinking Ship, a Buccaneers blog written by Tim Burke.

The threat of playing the Dolphins every Sunday is the only way Philip Rivers can get his kids to church.

Works at T-Mobile, drives a 12-year-old BMW, and is known by all of the 17-to-22-year-old women in Fort Lauderdale as a person to avoid.

Troymaine Pope (real player), not to be confused with Troy, Maine (real place)

“... just two of 17 girlfriends Gayle had at the time of the murder.”

This is why I never go to Denny’s. 

But I guess at 11 o’clock when you’re the GOAT of coaching, you go wherever you want, free ball.

Edelman’s quote of the coach was obviously edited, because I’m pretty sure what Belichick really said was…

If you can’t trust Chicago-area cops, then who can you trust?

Whoever animated this deserves a fucking award. No single image has ever captured the uncomfortable horror of seeing someone nude in the hot tub like this picture. You can FEEL the sanity breaking inside this man.

A McDavid trade would genuinely be the most interesting thing to happen in the NHL in years. What would Edmonton even want? What could they get? Would the Leafs be tempted to throw someone like Matthews at them or would they want younger picks and prospects instead of someone disappointed to have to play in Edmonton?

In all of the lists of Senators mishaps from 2018 one that almost never gets mentioned is Cody Ceci’s dinner party where one of the guests was lit on fire.

I think Forever 21 should be sued for the biggest case of blatant false advertising since the movie “The Neverending Story”