In conclusion, fuck Thierry Henry.

Man, I’ve never known of a Gary Anderson to make his first mistake when it mattered most.

Crude jokes = sexual assault to you?

With his OCD-level consistency, Nadal’s genius is well established at this point. The only question remaining is “What color thong does he wear?”

All of those things are things he said during his act.

Her “impulsive tweet” contains no actual opinion. Merely an explanation of how the world works.

Money. Can’t believe you still haven’t figured it out, Mayweather.

This is now the second time in a month that ESPN has fallen on its face while trying to discipline one of its biggest personalities for daring to talk politics on Twitter.

She’s a fellow “go wait in the car” child.

That’s because she’s always getting rear ended.

Good for J.T. It’s about time some right wingers started protesting.

Biggest traffic buildup is the line to my ex-wife’s bedroom.

“Multi-pass”

In case you need to manually override.

If you’re going to be driving around the neighborhoods, download the ParkChicago app advertised on all the street signs. Paying at the box is super obnoxious and this app lets you add time to your parking without having to go back and put your card in the box again.

As someone who’s lived in the Chicago area for over 40 years, the part about locals not eating deep dish is horseshit.

Bort-les

I give this 8 out of 10 Jesse’s.

Some Brit looked at the phrase “leave of absence” and said “That’s way too clear and certainly not British enough”.