The use of that word is pitch-fucking-perfect for the Federalist. Use the word ‘gals’ on International Women’s Day while saying you made all of them work and actually published some of their little essays. goddamn. And they think they’re being nice. Way to prove a point, the Federalist. you fucks.

“Adult roommate” is such a perfect description of my dad, if by “roommate” you also mean someone who doesn’t pay rent consistently, never cooks, cleans, or wants to go out. My dad nevers want to spend any time with his four kids, even when we’re all home. Seriously, he can’t even be bothered to watch us all open our…

I do too! For me it’s because my dad, who is a raging and proud misogynist, calls all women gals. 87 year old woman? Gal. 16 year old child in short shorts he’s ogling? Pretty ‘lil gal. Accomplished grown ass women? Mouthy gal.

Great list, though I want to get in a plug for Bahamdia, too.

Maybe the singularity, which I envision as Neil Degrasse Tyson sitting on a celestial throne.

I think the universe ends. It’s a gas cloud.

You got hustled. Never try to outsniff a woman. They are bloodhounds. My wife can hear me letting out a fart from eight miles away. Meanwhile, I can’t smell a goddamn thing because my nostrils are all gummed up with snot and old man hair.

Seriously, can you see yourself pulling for someone called Coy Craft

Look at that Gator just fucking strutting along like, “Check this out, assholes. This is my fish. You got a fish like this? Didn’t fucking think so.”

As a marshal who serves notices of eviction, I know it never feels good to tell a little kid to get out of his own house.

This made me cringe so hard I think I’m going to need medical attention.

Every day when I drive to work, I realize that one out of two people I see think it’s OK to be lied to by a low IQ, hypocritical sex monster who spends most of his days being a dick and putting ketchup on his meat. And that’s why I drink...

Draymond Green: Times like these, you reach down and grab a pair.

That’s got to be the most nerdy punchline known to the general public.

I tend to agree that Phil Jackson is overrated, but coaching and personnel management are very different skill-sets. It’s not really fair to imply that Phil being bad at being a team president retroactively makes him a bad coach.

Let he without mucous cast the first stone.

I need to take a shower after reading this

So refreshing to finally have a government that isn’t made up of delicate little snowflakes like the left is made up of.