I AM, in fact, an irritable dad with a law degree, Samer. How did you DO that?

2016 is not fucking around

Least original Chicago Calf Tattoos ranked:

Michael Jordan didn’t miss any games during the 1996 playoffs. So.......

This is federal judges reviewing the CBA of a union. The fact that it’s pro football players and not steamfitters or teamsters or whatever is pretty much immaterial.

It’s weird to me that no one remembers (because it was a huge deal at the time) that the Reds were just aping the Cubs from last year:

Also of note, walking four times sets a one-day record for people who live in Ohio.

No. No no no no no. No.

Counterpoint: No f***ing way.

The case against it, every one of my wife’s friends.

8:30 starts are horseshit. I don’t know who they think is staying up until 1am to watch hockey on a work night, but it sure as hell isn’t me. The transition from drinking on weeknights in my mid 20s and going to bed at 1030 every night happened out of no where. I want my youth back, I want to live.

Let’s cut the guy some slack on his day off. It’s not easy being a St. Louis policeman.

Why was the anchor for the yellow team the anchor for the yellow team?

I mean, it's no 700 ft. marble race, but it was all right.

It has nothing to do with the interference call. Look at that girl’s reaction. I know a sidepiece when I see one.

But yet you are reading deadspin.

I guessed “eggplant wiener”

Some asshole stole Bartolo Colon’s belt and is showing it off in the background.

The only aliens allowed at Augusta are the grounds crew.

How can Cracker Barrel rate so high when they probably would have refused to serve you, Greg?