This is a correct and just form of punishment.

Simmons’ talents seem to lie in finding good writers and letting them do their best work, which was the real reason for his success, and the reason I think a lot of people read Grantland, even if they didn’t normally read ESPN. But unfortunately the hires made at The Ringer simply aren’t up to snuff. (Apologies to any…

Parodied to great effect in the Mitchell and Webb recurring sketches:

Wow, thanks for this. It brings back a lot of fond memories. I also worked at my local TRU in the R*Zone in the mid-2000s. One of the best first jobs a teenager could ever have.

Missed the obvious troll:

Literally every guy on the Mets is hurt (Rafael Santana just tore his ACL and Tsuyoshi Shinjo is dealing with a strained intercostal)

(Also worth noting: With Giants fans wondering why Bumgarner was lifted post-fracas at only 97 pitches and a one-hitter going, Bochy said Bumgarner was not pulled for pinch-hitting purposes and a testy Madison mumbled something about “being smarter out there”. Hm.)

Jacquizz Rodgers

Only one person with more felonies in the Bay Area:

A nurse could, hypothetically, pass what he/she knows verbally or thru text message about JPP’s hand on to Schefter, but the moment an actual medical record or document is accessed by a person without the authority to do so, whether personally or thru someone else, they open themselves up to a certain amount of…

This is total pedantry but McDonald’s hasn’t held any stake in them in ten years.

A 15 man flu game would be incredible to watch, though...

Couldn’t help but read most of these in the voices of these fine folks:

Someone on Reddit actually made a “DL team” and six of them were opening day starters.

For reference, Davidson is the sap who ejected Youppie many years ago.

Is there a method to finding books on sale for a penny, or is it random chance? I’m the guy who sniffs out bargain books in every city he visits, so doing it while legally not wearing pants is appealing.

[cue Twitter idiots] “Man, Deadspin sucks now, it’s not like it was back in the day. Where are all the articles about beer?”

Same. He might as well just get the surgery now so he has extra time for recovery, rehab, and assessment. He’s been pitching like a fourth or fifth starter anyway this season; the risk of doing further damage after the nerve block injection could end his career altogether.

The difference between Lennon and, say, Greg Hardy, is that Lennon was honest about how terrible he was and made amends (or made a serious effort to make amends) later in his life. It remains to be seen whether Reyes (who has already done a lot more than most athletes in this situation) will be like the former or the…

The Daily News is maaaaaaaaybe not the best bellwether for moral outrage: