Well, as "Clockwork Orange" taught us, English people and classical music can never lead to anything bad happening at all.

'Federal law prohibits a campaign from soliciting anything of value from foreign entities. (“No person shall knowingly solicit, accept, or receive from a foreign national any contribution or donation prohibited by paragraphs (b) through (d) of this section.”)' Trump Jr.’s own statement presents him as soliciting…

Yes, yes; we all took AP History classes too.

Yeah, I know nothing about this actor, but I'm happy that he found his daughter. I would be equally happy if it was a story about a non-famous person who found his daughter. Anyway, some motherfuckers always gotta ice-skate uphill and leave shitty comments on the internet to prove their moral superiority,
which…

And she was right there SITTING NEXT TO HIM. And then did a fake laugh. Aagh.

Let's all recall the time Donny and Ivanka were interviewed, and when asked that they had in common, Donny said: "Sex." In a world of increasingly unbelievable things, it's still amazing that this happeend.

I guess you could say… that Charles… isn't in charge anymore.

I mean, there's recordings of Trump asking them to give him easy questions when he appeared on their show during the campaign, and them agreeing, so yeah, fuck all these people.

George W. Bush: Harvard, Yale. Donald Trump: University of Pennsylvania, Wharton. …Never not funny. Damn those "elites"!

So the future is basically the plot of "Gattaca," then?

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME? …And so on. And such.

I knew a girl named 'Chastity' in college. She was a total slut. It was awesome. Also a bunch of guys named 'Christian' who were total assholes.

IT'S ALL ONE PARAGRAPH-LONG SENTENCE. It's like reading fucking Henry James… except of course, the complete opposite.

"Mr. Trump, what is your opinion on the deficit?"

Yeah, my uncle is a professor of physics at the University of London. That does not mean I know jackshit about science, and didn't help me when I was failing freshman 'Intro to Science' required courses in college.

I admire the amazing numbers of em-dashes and commas it requires to try to make his sentences grammatical.

People, people! Trump didn't fire the scientists. He sent them to Mars to investigate the child-slavery bone marrow ring taking place there.

That boat ride had script problems from day one. So many rewrites!

The first time I ever used my CD player (in the one car I owned that had one), it instantly jammed, trapping the CD inside. I then got to listen to Bjork's "Post" for the next three years (or listen to nothing). It's a good album, but still.

I also loved the Paddington books as a kid, and the books made me really want to go to England, where apparently you could eat ice cream in movie theaters. I eventually got there, and it was true. Anyway, RIP.