I'd like to buy your rock.

As a Sixers fan*, I guess our counterparts are way, way dead by now.

Yeah, I was pretty horrified to read that journalists in press conferences just turn off recording devices when Trump's people tell them to. Like, we're not even talking about taking such a principled stance as boycotting the press conferences. Just say "No," don't turn your camera off, and record them trying to…

…Web.

Turkish beer exists? I lived in Turkey and never saw any. I just drank nasty raki.

The great thing about the outtakes from "The Phantom Menace" is how much more Jar Jar there originally was in the movie. Lucas was like, "What we really need is a scene here where he falls in the water a bunch of times while they're trying to get to the palace in Naboo. We really haven't established that the…

Ah. Macy's, right. I did not know that 'Mannequin' was filmed there; I try to be proud of Philly, but that is… not a very good movie. : /

My friend Chris appeared on the show. He had one line, directed to Amy Poehler. He said: "I like your hair." She said, "You're an idiot." It was a hugely exciting moment in our young 1990s lives.

I was reading an AV Club article from like 2006 the other day, and they made some dopey joke about this dumb celebrity named Trump, and I seriously did want to go back in time and save us all.

Yeah, my great-grandmother used to take me to eat at the restaurant in John Wanamaker's in Philadelphia. It was highly upscale and a big deal and I loved it as a kid: oak panelling, waiters in jackets. I guess it made sense that it was classy, since according to my memory, you could buy Faberge eggs in the store. …

No cooked veggies? None? This is madness and also fascinating. So no asparagus? No artichokes?

Yeah, put some peanut butter up in that bitch and you're fine. The god of the old testament — the intelligent designer — clearly made celery as a peanut butter holder, and his works are good. You can try 'ants on a log' too, but I can't claim a specific theological background for that one.

Wow, the fact that you've read some books on the Civil War is truly blowing my mind. I just can't handle your level of knowledge.

I make jokes during the trailers (in a quiet voice), and my gf gets mad at me for talking. So I guess I'm part of the problem, even though I have a nervous breakdown if someone talks during the actual movie.

*To be clear, they were highly MAD that I had shushed them, since yelling in the movies is part of the Constitution or something. So they seemed like they wanted to fight. I do not advocate the awesome crime of beating up teenagers.

I shushed once in a theater. It was a bunch of teenagers and they were basically shouting. It didn't work, and then I couldn't focus on the movie, because I spent the rest of it wondering if I was supposed to get in a fist fight with a bunch of teenagers after it.

It's annoying based on the fact that apparently people can't go 120 minutes without sending a fucking text. Just stay home and text if it's that much of an addiction.

I iced him, to cone a phrase, etc.

Enh. Bunnies are VERY prevelant here, and the cat wants to be outside. I just wish she wouldn't sass me by bringing them home; I'd rather just not know.

My cat kills all the baby bunnies in our yard and drags them home and it's horrifying.*