Shrimp under glass, Shrimp ala mode, the Shrimp your mother left out for you, Secret Shrimp, I can't believe it isn't Shrimp!, Shrimp Surprise, Shrimp in shrimp sauce…*

Come the mudbug revolution, you'll be the first one up against the wall.

I mean, yeah, but only if you ate a hundred at once. Also, when I finished law school finals in NOLA, I rewarded myself by getting two dozen raw oysters. That's too many oysters and I felt sick. But they cost fifty cents each in the Crescent City.*

Crawfish boils are sort of horrible because you're literally watching 300 tiny animals being killed in real time for your own… satiation. I mean, I like eating crawfish and I went to them, but man.

Link to my own writing without commentary: http://thoughtcatalog.com/o…

It's almost like, much like Mr. Ackbar, you have been hoist by your own petard, in some way.

Sigh… Your comment can't repel snark of this mag… *passes out*

Settle down, guys.

No. Is this like some Stanley Kubrick sort of thing?

Aw, man. I wanted to make a joke about this movie sounding like a Mountain Dew flavor/candy bar. Instead I have failed. Again.

Yeah, I think just recasting an actor is much more normal than CGI-ing their dead replicas into a movie. I mean, actors get recast; it's normal. It's not disrespectful to Carrie Fisher. If anything, writing her character out of the film is arguably… what's the right word here… less good. (Especially since she was…

Yeah, I actually had to (randomly) write about this topic once (don't ask), and this is actually really fucking impressive. 'Go' is so complicated and can involve so many different strategies that it was actually used as an example of something that A.I. would not be able to do.*

Omg, my friend did Cutco for one day ten years ago and I still mock her for it. I think she threw her sample set of knives in the trash out of shame or something.

No, she was wrong. I felt it wise not to debate her, though.

As a kid, I often found the HBO logo sequence to be way more exciting than whatever bad movie they would show next ('Jewel of the Nile' 'Short Circuit 2'?).

The only reason that I could convince my GF to see 'The Force Awakens' was her intense crush on Adam Driver. Her review of the film afterwards: "Well, that was stupid."

Cool. Can you explain the party scene to me now? Seriously.

…Tycho Brahe? Welp, I learned something today.

To be fair, Jar Jar and Anakin beating the bad guys by making wacky mistakes over and over IS basically the ending of every 'Scooby-Doo' ever.

When I first heard the title 'The Phantom Menace,' I called my friend Chris, and was like, "I'm really excited for this, but doesn't that sound like the name of a 'Scooby-Doo' episode?" He then proceeded to give me shit on the phone for twenty minutes for doubting the genius of George Lucas.