Spice is the variety of life, or something.

EXCELLENT

I dunno, Stephen A, “Fear the scraggly little goatee” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Real constructive criticism, here—maybe you should be a writer!

I’m blessed to be George and Barbara’s son, and I’m blessed to be George W.’s brother. But the world we’re in today is dramatically different than 2000, when my brother got elected, and 2001, when the World Trade Center towers and the Pentagon and the plane went down in Pennsylvania. No matter how much this crazy…

But you people remember, baby turtles and alligators may seem like a cute idea for a pet, but they grow up.

Wheaton College is wacky. From the student handbook:

Yeah, idk. #TailQaeda and #Chimpanzeehadists (I know chimps aren’t monkeys) are as close as I can get.

Same.

Cam was just suggesting career moves for Jim Tomsula to consider.

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is assuming that everyone with a gun is a good guy.

The other reporters in the locker room got shafted.

Fermenter? I hardly know her!

It’s kind of wacky that the statement is like, “She’s obviously lying—no one could’ve brought a phone into the afterparty.”

But Fruitvale Station was amazing, so I think a lot of people just want to give Ryan Coogler some slack.

I thought Creed was kinda dumb, too.

OH MAN THANKS FOR POINTING THIS OUT

Led with his helmet into the dude’s neck. I think it’s a good call. Burgess had no reason to go high on him like that.

This gif is truly excellent, but I think it’s even better if you imagine he’s making Tim Allen grunting noises.