Univision, my man. Messi, Rodriguez, Vidal, all without even needing basic cable. (I don’t get the hate either way. My preferred teams are American teams, but soccer all day tomorrow? Why the fuck not?)

What on earth does that first sentence even mean?

I had forgotten until a few minutes ago that Evan is a former preacher. Is it safe to assume that, even if he isn’t a full blown quiverfull movement guy, the idea to start the erectile dysfunction clinic came from the same sort of beliefs re: a husbands showing that they are blessed by God by having lots of kids?

Yeah, stoned trips to the zoo pre-kid were glorious. (We lived close enough that the zoo was even the closest place to get an ice cream cone. Get a little baked, get on the bicycle, go through the member’s entrance past all of those suckers with the strollers who have to pay for tickets, and head straight for the soft…

I feel like this criticism would be more valid if the dire predictions of the South American powers sending b sides filled with domestic league players had come true. All I know is that last night, I was watching the full senior sides of two of the top five teams in the FIFA rankings (whatever those are worth) in…

I don’t see why Americans have to hate on any tournament that doesn’t involve Europe, especially one that brings us some of the best players in the world in prime time. It’s not like Switzerland-Albania is going to be a real barn burner compared to Argentina-Chile. What digs? Too many brown people for you?

Is anyone else watching this game? You’d think they were playing with a shot clock- I’ve never seen two teams run like this. Do yourself a favor and turn it on for the second half if you happen to be up.

While I will likely fall into the “follow them both” camp, if I were forced to make a choice, I would take Messi, Suarez, Vidal, and James Rodriguez playing in prime time over that Albania-Switzerland Slovakia-Wales double header the Euros are offering early in the morning next Saturday.

If it was a malicious teenager, fuck that kid.

It’s actually an interesting question that lead me down a interesting path. Apparently Cristiano Jr was born in the States, to a still unrevealed mother. There are rumors that Dad used a surrogate (for reasons only known to him,) or it could have been a one night stand.

Being from Denver and growing up in the small window when the Buffs were a solid team, that chain was what first made me notice this kind of thing. (My father in law is a Nebraska native and alum who has spent his entire professional life in Denver, and if you ever want to see the eye roll to end all eye rolls, just…

No, I like that. (Although the most amusing announcing I ever heard was the Spanish language broadcasters on American TV covering the Italy-England match in the last World Cup- for some reason they were referring to every English player by their full given name (“Wayne Mark Rooney”) except for Steven Gerrard, who they…

College also opens you up to several degrees of unrequited rivalry.

All Lambda Chi chapters are called “Zetas,” which are designated by letters somewhat corresponding to the order in which they were chartered. The Oregon chapter happens to be the Zeta Omicron Zeta. That, combined with the fact that there is no national Zeta Omicron Zeta fraternity, would suggest that LXA nationals are…

There was some poor wording in the press release which gives rise to (part of) your confusion. Each individual Lambda Chi chapter is called a “Zeta,” for essoteric reasons. Each Zeta has a two-letter title. And (I had to google this) the Lambda Chi chapter at Oregon is Zeta Omicron, or the Zeta Omicron Zeta. That,…

I really would be curious to see how many white people from families that have been in the USA for a while were raised with the legend that they are 1/16th Cherokee (it’s always Cherokee). I heard it as a kid, and even though my geneologist Aunt totally debunked the story, you still hear it from other family members.…

I’m going to slightly modify this.

The English have a long history of intentionally ignoring the proper foreign pronunciation of names in favor of phonetic English pronunciation. (Byron famously mocked this quirk by rhyming “Juan” in “Don Juan” with “new one.”) Maybe Francesca was just following in the grand American journalistic tradition of affecting…

I’m all for shelter dogs, but come the fuck on, the dog doesn’t know you saved its life. You certainly get to bask in that warm feeling that knowledge might bring you, but the dog has no clue that you did anything other than bring it into your pack and give it food.

This is pretty much my story to a T. New baby comes home, and dog isn’t mean to her, dog is actually kind of OK with her, but man, having her place as the main recipient of attention userped turned the dog into the most obnoxiously clingy creature ever. She gets lots of attention when the kid goes to bed, but I have…