Free Protein Bars at your gym? What kind of swanky gym do you belong to? I’m happy just to get a goddamn towel, and I can only count on that half of the time.

geez! you can’t just start tuggin’ your johnson at the bar. Gotta have some class.

I was going to say the corpse of Ken Griffey Jr until the google machine told me that was a trade. I have absolutely no idea.

Here’s to feeling good all the time

I was just thinking how I’d react if somebody bought my kid a Dave Mathews Band t-shirt or some bullshit, I’d be absolutely enraged.

I enjoy purchasing heavy metal shirt baby clothes for friends’ kids. There’s just something fun about a 3 month old in a Motorhead shirt.

Britt McHenry fuckin’ sucks.

*cancels Costco membership*

The whole point of a costco membership is to have lunch there and everyone knows this. Hot Dog and a soda for $1.50 FUCK YEAH.

it’s funny you bring this up, because I happened to just remember that Coolio existed the other day. Thought to myself “holy shit, remember coolio?” 

The real story here is that their uniforms are pretty much the same damn color which left me very confused on my first viewing.

I once attended a week 3 preseason Ravens game as a fan of the opposing team. My my team scored a touchdown and I gave a mild applause. At this point, a 40 something man in front of me (wearing a Ravens jersey I should add) knocked the beer out of my hand and tried to fight me.

A Marriott in Cincinnati claims to have the world’s largest indoor gazebo. I can’t quite articulate why, but it strikes me as the perfect analogy for Cincinnati. 

Seriously. The average Chicagoan eats Deep Dish Pizza exactly once a year, and that’s when an out of town coworker flies in and DEMANDS we order deep dish from Geno’s East for lunch. 

I was there last summer and it was bizarre. Random packs of drunk people milling about from chain restaurant to tacky bar.

Paul Manafort was the toughest guy in Essex County!

Sure hope this isn’t some kind of Troy McClure situation. 

My sophomore year of college I walked home drunk from a party down a relatively empty road. Cops stopped me, I was hammered and they could have easily picked me up for drunk in public. Instead, they gave me a ride home, no questions asked.

I’ve long known I have unhip tastes in music, but not until this thread did I realize how much people hate Joe Walsh/The Eagles.

As product of growing up in the 90s, I insist any wallet chain he wears must be accompanied with a Nine Inch Nails tee shirt.