AAh, so you’re a sex offender yourself. Got it.

Thanks for the education. I work 40 hours a week, but not anymore! Not now that I know the easy way! Off to quit and become a burglar. Easy street, here I come!

Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing?

They make more sense when read then finished with “in bed”.

Wrong Pronunciation

Yes. And did I miss a bloody mary at Sunday brunch? Or for the ladies, a mimosa? There's no sin in that!

Yes. Cereal is delicious crispy. When it gets soggy, there's a point it crosses when it no longer has any discernable crunch, it becomes disgusting. It's like an inflection point, a bifurcation value of crunchiness, if you will. Soggy cereal is disgusting.

Instead of relying on optical illusions and sorcery, something more practical, like dieting, might work.

This show gives the NFL a good reason to marginalize him...I mean they'd really be doing it because he's gay, but they'll say it was the reality show. Stupid, stupid, stupid Mr. Sam.

In an effort to not suck, this Commencement speech by David Foster Wallace should be required listening. Note: IRL I suck bad.

Right, that is how you win in the NFL. Wait...

This could be a statement about Tebow as well. Enjoy his demise!

Think hard. It's clearly possible to be the most popular athlete on the planet without being the most popular athelete in the country.

He can easily be the most popular athlete in the world without being the most popular athelete in the country. Think.

He can easily be the most popular athlete in the world without being the most popular athelete in the country. Think.