Please have him email me and tell me what the alloys are before I perish.

Alright so I can add something here. I don’t wanna sell it as the juiciest thing, but:

This is quite a shock, since there has been virtually no substance at ESPN for many years now.

The athlete can choose, but it has to be a song from the band O.A.R

Referees hate this guy.

Revenge is a dish best served Gould.

Only if the price is $.69 per wing.

To make matters even worse, it turns out Rose’s recently turned-in “What I Did During My Vacation” essay was plagiarized.

This settles it:

Great googly moogly.

Just what we need, a rivalry between east coast and west coast crappers

That’s cold-blooded.

Counterpoint - fuck Duke

I’m just glad we’re living in a society where standards are changing and that sort of behaviour is no longer acceptable. I suppose I can just hope that current standards hold and my kids grow up in a world where no basketball players spend four years at Kentucky.

Bands whose albums you should rank, ranked:

Come on, we all know there’s only one place to go for pizza in NY

26-14 or, as it’s known in Alabama, courtin’ ages.

Wait, you purposely moved to Orlando, from New York? What are you 80?

<holds envelope to forehead>

There were 3 shooters in the JFK shooting: Oswald, the grassy knoll, and a squirrel in a tree on Dealey Plaza.