OSCARS, RANKED;

I’m sure she’ll grow up to eventually love the D.

I couldn’t use this Getty shot of Whiteside stuffing the shit out of Green for the lead image because it isn’t horizontal, but it’s great:

Prosecutor: “Now Mr. Pierre-Paul, is the man who tweeted your medical records in the courtroom today?”

(To be fair, Southerners holding an unhealthy dedication to peculiar southern institutions centered around exploiting the unpaid physical labor of young black men have been calling Knoxville residents traitors to said institutions since 1861)

“there is no culture problem” in Knoxville

You mean a guy who looks like that and goes by “Butch” might be a meathead who coddles other violent meatheads? No fucking way.

Also he DID use E. Payton in the dunk contest as a passer.

Umm...I don't know who the Philly announcer is, but you definitely CAN have a partner throwing you passes in the dunk contest.... It literally happens every year

“If you were allowed to have a partner...”

Then who was this?

I was always a fan of the not-washing things mentality until about a month ago when I got a fresh pair of boxers and a subsequent rash on my taint.

You are clearly wrong. Trump is incredibly successful and I know this because he keeps telling us so. Again, and again, and again. In fact, he says that his name alone is worth several billion dollars. Wow!

Maybe he should have just sent the last tweet?

Steve Novak is very good at making these videos.

I want to put a catheter full of fire ants up his pee hole.

“Hey, that’s awesome! Congr...”

Don’t forget, contracts were so important to the Founders that they were enshrined in the Constitution:

This apology is like olive oil—I’m not buying it because I don’t understand what first cold press means and also why does it cost so much and how can there be a difference between Italian and Greek olive oil if it is solely made from the extract of olives? And another thing, if you get olive oil on your shirt? You…

an incredibly easy to navigate western conference

How could that possibly be an offensive foul?