I watched Interstellar after eating a particularly potent brownie, and I kid you not, I actually solved the time/space paradox that would allow for inter-galactic space travel.

As someone who battles depression, what would make me happiest right now is for you to die a slow painful death.

I just can’t believe that Trump repaid a debt to someone!

The nachos in my microwave took longer to finish than Rousey’s career tonight.

“This is tragic, but...” is the tragedy-based version of “Not to sound racist, but...”

I would say “Why were assholes shooting up the place” is a more serious concern than “Why was innocent bystander out in public at a time I deem inappropriate despite having any context on the situation.”

We need legislation that mandates anyone out between, say 11 pm and 6 am can be legally murdered. Just to teach those night owls a lesson.

There are widows, widowers and orphans, but there is no word for a parent who lost a child.

For those who don’t know, Cookout is right next to UK’s campus, surrounded by student housing. It’s not like your corner bar or liquor store, just a regular fast food joint. This also isn’t the first time gun violence has occurred there. It’s a popular spot to get food late at night.

Thinking about all the idiots who are going to say “But what was a 15-year-old doing out at 4 a.m.” is already making me so mad.

Fuck him.