I nearly ruptured myself reading @americasbaby's awesome tweets.

You and I either live on different planets or one of us needs serious optical assistance. Girls of 13/14 may not 'need' to be all sexy but they're all over it anyway. Our culture has taught them their value is in 'lookin hot' and they take it quite seriously.

Those cute little legs and butt in the water! We have one because we haven't found another yet who needs us like the first one did. We will.

We adopted our first dachshund rescue four years ago and she won't be our last! I have always loved dogs but this breed (and this particular dog, of course) is awesome.

If you're happy with what you can purchase then I'm happy for you. I prefer the flavors of the varieties I grown myself.

Peeps are ONLY good for sneaky and slightly frightening tricks on your friends/family. Stick plastic fork handles up the bums of Peep bunnies and fill an unsuspecting friend's yard with them. Sneak into your sister's house and inflate a Peep chick in her microwave for her to find when she warms up her coffee. Stab…

I agree with LaCometesse suggestions . Once you've gotten yourself there insist on the most experienced, best phlebotomist on staff. Tell them they have one shot at drawing your blood. Make them understand you have a real problem with having your blood drawn and you will not let them fuck around letting some 'new…

Word!!

bitch, please.

ding ding ding! We have a winna heah!

Some table salt has aluminum added. It tastes like crap.

He was a pageant kid? Ermagerd.

I'm in.

I'll break my piggy bank if we can get this done.

word!

She did leave out the 'like'. I'm proud of her for that.

'well regulated militia'. Tell me how that allows your dumb butt to own a weapon meant for the battlefield?

Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a winner here!