Native Californians with brown-as-fuck lawns unite.

It’s not that they bore me, either, per se. I just toss them into my list of people who “won’t shut the fuck up about their life choices.” I get it, monogamy isn’t for everyone — just like meat is totally murder and crossfit is the only exercise that “really works.” SHUT. UP. PLEASE.

“Polyamorous couples” should be on that list. God forbid they’re Poly vegans who do crossfit...

I JUST remembered the worst sext I’ve ever received. Context: I used to bang a complete sociopath fairly regularly while I was rebounding off a nearly 7-year long relationship. He was REALLY good in bed and my self-esteem was pretty damaged. We stopped sleeping together when he sent a text requesting head quickly…

This should be a no-brainer, but you should also thoroughly wash your hands or, as my non-hetero lady friends have told me, use a glove. Some ladies have very sensitive bits and the slightest grime on your hands (even from something as asinine as touching a doorknob in your own home) can give her B.V.

Also related to Jefferson Davis. My grandfather and my brother look a LOT like him.

I can’t stop watching the Star vs. The Forces of Evil theme song when... stoned things... happen.

Agreed, 100%. There was a woman I worked with years ago who would come into the locker room (we were waiting tables — had to change into uniforms) and talk about shopping/getting deals on cheap shit/advertising the cost of her wardrobe. It was so obnoxious.

My great-grandmother was a tiny (like 4’9”) Russian woman who, according to my father, knew EVERYONE in upper Manhattan. She would take my dad to Central Park and they always ran into people she knew. Very kind, charismatic woman. But she was a badass, too.

Oh, absolutely. That's why when I come visit 7 years after leaving I still recognize half the staff (who mostly started several years before I did).

I worked at a restaurant in NYC where the waitstaff had LITERALLY no side work, nor did they have to run or bus their own food, and dinner shifts were from about 4:45-11:30. Thursday-Saturday average was about $200/shift. It was quite possibly the easiest money I've ever made.

I built the dance floor, pitched the giant tent, and set up the tables and chairs for the reception with three other groomsman and one of the bride's brothers before the ceremony. Terrible? Really?

I was a groomslady for my friend's wedding on the beach in Malibu. The bride was a monster and wanted to me to wear a version of the very expensive and very ugly bridesmaid dress, which I refused to do. So I bought my own dress, which was simple and black with a slightly low cut top.

They're a festival sponsor, and they do a lot of social media stuff from the grounds, so maybe it will help their brand to have Instagram photos of actual youngsters wearing their clothing?

Correction: You are tied for most comfortable lass on the polo field. I have yet to either be a) sunburnt, b) blistered (on the feets), c) too hot, or d) too cold whilst at Coachella, going on year 5 at the festival.

Ooof... Nothing as fun as gaslighting. Fuck that guy. It's because of a similar experience that I will now and forever ALWAYS trust my gut feeling.

I dated a cheating asshole for nearly seven years. There were little red flags along the way (he only looked at the Women Seeking Men section of Craigslist because he preferred masturbating to images "real women" was probably my favorite of said-flags), but I couldn't find concrete evidence, so I convinced myself I…

I've had several service industry jobs — barista, hostess, waitress, manager, bartender — in multiple states (and in British Columbia) and there is only one thing I ever say in regards to tipping: if you can't afford to tip (18% at the VERY least, which is my "holy shit, that service was terrible I can see that your…

The sternum and collar bone nearly killed me and I have a high pain tolerance (and 6 other tattoos). I feel like those should be more magenta-ish...

I'd say the way your parents treat you probably feeds that PTSD and anxiety quite a bit. Jeez. Sorry you've gone through so much garbage. Big hugs and good thoughts to you!