Since they have not chosen to conquer or colonize us already, they either:
a.) don’t exist
b.) have already colonized us and we don’t know it
c.) like us or aren’t interested in conquering/vaporizing us and generally hide, knowing we would try to start some shit with them (look at the central assumption of this article)
d.…

Dude in background sounds high. Twice, his consciousness peers through the placid haze to ask his travel companion if he should stress out: “it’s not going to come over here, is it?”

Nobody knows what racism is anymore. It used to be a lot less subtle.

A dealer price is pretty much never a nice price.

My heart is spinning like a wheel.

“There is perhaps no sexier hybrid on the market.”

Ohio law requires but as far as I can tell Ohio cops do not enforce. I’ve “been meaning” to put mine on since I bought the car in 2012. Been pulled over a couple times but it was never mentioned.

I think I’d be an intolerant person, too, if I had to go through life with the name John Shit.

Went to a track day at Gingerman a couple years ago. There were Mustangs, M3s, an Aston, several Porsche. All behaved well. The only person who got kicked out of the proceedings was some arrogant jackass in one of these BMW SUVs.

Somebody needs to buy it from NASA and put it on Craigslist or BAT so we can have a NicePrice or CrackPipe vote.

Occam on.

You’ve obviously never owned anything with early-70s fuel injection. [shudder]

If you think Jesus was communist, you’re just drinking what somebody’s selling.

With this, we witness the final implosion of the need for satire.

Where’s the “take stars away” button?

If you are out west (Idaho is out west, kids), there are a lot of solid old trucks to choose from and this project becomes a CP vote. If, like me, you are sitting in a half inch of salt dust right now, this looks like a unicorn and you’re tempted. It’s not and don’t be.

Volunteer to help with a concrete project. Shoveling, mixing, wheelbarrowing around a bunch of obstacles.

Why do they all have to look like this?

Guy said “sounds good” as a requirement at least twice. Three of the four nominations have a V8 ... which ... maybe the guy likes the sound of a V8. Apparently a LOT of people like the sound of a V8. I also don’t golf or watch sports or understand why I’d want to drink sugar drinks, so I must be a weirdo, because to…