David, this vehicle is waaaaaaaaay to nice for you.  You would hate it.  You would be bored with the lack of things to constantly repair, and you couldn’t even write about it.  Solid pass my man. 

12 MPG?  In the early 80's?  That’s why it was stored for so long.

Nope

Just visit one of those that send out the mailers with the scratch-off “prizes.” They are usually ready to roll some kind of scam on you. 

The boy in the back is a young Harvey Weinstein. 

Obvi the Changli.  Or a Smart ForTwo

Call me a redneck all you want, but I would drive this. I would spend the money for a (cheap) repaint, and I would strip the paint of the wheels and finish them properly, and redo the terrible tint job. It gets my Nice Price vote.

Um, there’s a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn’t walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn’t moving, he’s in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and…

That’s my favorite picture of a brick wall.

You should definitely make a career change and drive trucks.

No doubt. I went from riding 10k miles a year to 500 or less, and for that exact reason. The damn phones ruin everything. Its even worse when people actively try to take you out.

As the cliche goes: you will never see a motorcycle in the parking lot of a therapist’s office. 

You can kill yourself without buying the bike. It seems to be all the rage (along with divorce) since the pandemic started. 

Even a new Ural is 60 years old.  I think a lot of people got stimulus checks and used them as a down payment on a toy they can enjoy.  Much like how camper sales have skyrocketed, solo outdoors stuff like motorcycles is booming.  This is the shot in the arm that the motorcycle industry needed after being stagnant the…

I think an intervention is in order. 

I’m assuming they want to know if you saw something through a window in a passing house, or if you saw the deer in the tree line 300 yards off the road.

How else am I supposed to pre-game?

I used to be anal about my car. It was a sacred place. But I’ve recently generally adopted your attitude about it. Except for the smoking. No smoking.  But if it gets dirty, you can clean it.  I spent so much time worrying about the car and in the end it really didn’t matter. 

Or tapping on the inside of the window.  You can point.  It’s just as effective and doesn’t leave little nicks all over my window tint. 

My wife used to put her feet on the dash, or put her hands out in front of her like she’s going to use the force to stop an impending accident, if I were to come up to a stopped car too quickly. Then I showed her a video of a girl that had her feet on the dash when the airbag went off. She doesn’t do that anymore.