Um...No?  I have the latest Android update, latest version of Zoom according to the play store, and I’m on a Moto G Stylus.  No option for virtual background.

Came here for the advice of “dump the contents of glitter bottle in their room, and tell them to clean it up while they sulk”. Leaving disappointed.

I can see 16 year old me (i.e. the worst) doubling down on my hissy fit if someone told me to “settle my glitter”.