I've already devised a perfect set of guidelines for what should be taught in history classes.

Far from the first time that a dick has been on full display in Downtown Chicago.

What do you mean when you say "I work at a community college so that's all I work with"? You say it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, but I don't see why working at a community college automatically makes someone stupid. Obviously if that's so, you're stupid, too. So you can see why I'm stumped!

I think it's important that we deal directly with the dumb spouse. Therefore, UncleWalty, I am going to aim this directly at you. Stop trashing your spouse on the internet. It's one of the most dumb things you can do. If you can clean up your side of the street, maybe she won't think you're so dumb.

Argue constantly, work killer overtime, stop communicating, teach your kids to seek dysfunctional relationships through example, and grow super old and bitter together.

Absolutely, positively the LAST place to go is HR. If they perceive that you're the problem because you 'complain too much' about that innocent co-worker who is not causing any trouble or complaining, you wind up being the dude with the target on your head.

Step 2: divorce. Your spouse probably deserves someone who respects him/her a bit more than you do.

Logic trap.

Step 1: communicate

I'd expand this to do not ever go to HR with an interpersonal problem. Think of the worst possible way things could turn out for you - that's how it'll probably go.

I have to say something about HR. HR doesn't exist for the employee/s it exists to protect the company. Sure they may be able to mediate or correct some issue but that's a side effect of their existence. Be very careful and tread lightly when dealing with HR or it may backfire.

Hold on. You lost me the minute I read that you played the piano and sang in your apartment at 1 am. That is such an asshole move and your neighbor was way too nice about it.

My building has a "no children under the age of 18" rule. It's in my lease. I love it.

Whitson, I am kinda disappointed by your remarks. If you know you are a noisy person, I feel like you should be the one reaching out to your neighbors initially. You expect them to come to you politely but you're already being very inconsiderate and disrespectful by being knowingly loud to begin with. It isn't fair…

Unless you were exaggerating regarding the things taped to your door; you call the cops and file a harassment complaint.

So what do you do when you tried the "human" approach and introduced yourself, attempted a plan, yet the neighbor doesn't get the message and all he does is just say "ok"? What do you do after he yells, violently slams his door, punches the wall, and leaves a note on your door saying "please get a life, thanks" after…

This is always an uncomfortable situation for the complainer because of the fear of retribution or a bad response by the noise offender. IMO, it's rare that the noise-maker feels bad or sorry about making the noise. Usually if you do a noise complaint, the immediate reaction is a defensive (aggressive) one. It's…

Because that way lies a never-ending cycle of obnoxiousness, and you're more likely to get respite if *someone* takes the higher ground?

Or be a respectful tenant and realize there's other people in your building.