These nosepicking simians are not my fucking peers.

Once again, a man went into a courtroom with his ears closed and his mind made up that Bitches Be Lying, and the world suffers accordingly. Christ, Democracy, get your shit together awready.

Why can’t we have professional juries? People with a basic background in varied types of criminal law, who serve consistently and understand court proceedings?

My favorite statement from my husband was when we had a package of chicken quietly leak into the back of the truck and fester for a few days. My husband sent me a text that said “Smells like Steve Bannon died in here. We may have to burn the truck.”

What kind of action did you want to see? Did you want them to show up and then dramatically turn their backs on him? Did you want them to all have Taco Bell for breakfast and then fill his office with farts? I’m unclear about what your complaint is here.

Yes, more people need to talk about the dangers of sleep apnea.

I hope that Carrie Fisher’s death will help start a conversation about sleep apnea too. I think a lot of people suffer from it without knowing and being able to be open and honest about daytime sleepiness, snoring, and a myriad of other symptoms will result in earlier intervention resulting in better health outcomes.

I am 91 days sober. I’m not quite flying my AA flag to everyone I know IRL, some people know, but alcohol  has been part of my coping mechanism for so long, that I’m really proud to be working on being a better person without it.

I love, love, love her. She didn’t say, “Well, why were you at his house?” She didn’t say, “Did you tell him no?” She didn’t say, “Why did you take the pill?” She didn’t say, “Maybe this is a case of mixed signals.” She didn’t say, “You must have imagined it all. Bill Cosby wouldn’t do such a thing!”

I want to give her 10 Mother of the Year Awards. What a phenomenal advocate for her daughter. Brava, Gianna Constand!

Build a bridge out of him!

No. Just no. That relies on the argument that Trump and Obama are equal and therefore worthy of the same amount of respect. We don’t dislike Trump because he is brown. We don’t dislike him because he is liberal. We don’t have some vague notion that by lifting others up with equality it stomps on our privilege. False.

He turned me into a newt. Drown him! Burn him!

Keep Calm And Hold My Beer

“For some reason, the issues of wage equality, affordable healthcare, bodily autonomy, reliable contraception, education and screenings of Wonder Woman have become a paramount issue for these uppity, bitchy, feeeeeeemales.” Mike Pence on behalf of the entire administration, 2017

“For some reason, the issue of that oncoming truck has be—”
— Mike Pence’s last words

“For some reason, this issue of poverty has become primary issue for these layabouts.” Ebenezer Pence, 1943

“For some reason, the issue of my ED has become a paramount issue for Mother”. Mike Pence, c2010

“For some reason, this issue of Hurricane Katrina has become a paramount issue for New Orleans.” - Mike W. Pence, 2005

“For some reason the issue of food has emerged as a paramount issue to the members of the Donner Party.” - Mike Pence, Truckee, CA, January 1847