Early Times Breakfast Slushie

For me, booze leads to Taco Bell, not the other way around. And that's that.

Josh Gad is too into crab rangoons

You just gotta be friendly with them too.

I hope they hire Chris Farley this time.

I've actually never been. Though I've been friendly with a few strippers.

Fuck Hobby Lobby. Their glitter funds ISIS.

I'm gonna keep it in my pants.

YESSSS!

not YOU!

Thanks for alleviating the pressure.

This confirms what I previously felt.

I should probably get around to watching that.

You however are only getting our sarcastic sympathy.

Lauren Miller was the one who wrote/starred in For A Good Time Call…, right?

Free market people should be enraged over this, but they probably think "weed makes you a pussy."

They preemptively shut out new businesses of weed distributors, stagnating job growth.

Old White Jazz and feminism are diametrically opposed.

Woody Allen's Jazz Shows: Now featuring occasional boobs.

By horrible do you mean fucking hilarious?