I couldn't stop myself.

I'm sitting at work cranky, and irritable and glaring at a co-worker because someone cooked 4 bean soup with two beans in it and he had a bowl, tried it, didn't like it, and DUMPED THE SOUP BACK IN THE CROCK POT, and it reminded me of BCO.

Definition of "restaurant" from the Oxford Dictionary:

"even though I only order special things that are not extra work because I have some idea of what is or I ask if it is"

There are wonderful places to get out of the house to eat — parks, public gardens, beaches, river-front or lakefront walks, even their own back yards. We call these things "picnics."

Yeah, servers DEFINITELY hate you.

"...confused elderly panda" - this year's Mardi Gras costume, without a doubt.

Confused Elderly Panda is my new band name.

UGH OMG THESE PEOPLE. *head in hands* If the restaurant doesn't have it YOU can't have it. You don't get to go to the theater and hand people your own script.

Last winter or so, Mr. Bells and I were heading home from a road trip when we stopped into a random Mexican place for lunch. We were seated in the second booth back from the entrance. The first booth, that we walked past on our way in, had a mother and her young son in it. Next to us was a table of maybe 10 people…

My husband and I were at a restaurant with a large menu when a normal 30 something couple comes in. They both sit on the same side of the booth and the woman starts reading the menu to her male companion. She reads the title, description then price for all of the appetizers. I assumed he was blind, couldn't read,…

"Most of the time she looked like a confused elderly panda, but one day a server accidentally spilled a glass of water in her lap and she stood up and started cursing the server in tongues — I swear she looked like an enraged demon from a Miyazaki film, hair swirls, red eyes, and everything."

Yesterday 32:45 AM

I'm ththe dark ages they used to tie cats to posts and then torture them to death- for fun. Humans have always found amusement in terrible things, is this really news to people? I love Dance Moms and I think I have a pretty decent mental capacity. Get over yourselves.

wow such sophisticated tastes

Years ago, I dated a girl who had a tradition of going to dinner with her parents on Sunday evenings. After a few dates, I was asked to join her for her Sunday dinner out with her parents. We met them at the restaurant, and her father, who had what my wife calls a "punch me face", made a pissy comment about us being 5…

"She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm."

I have a masssssive bag of Kettle Brand Country Style BBQ Potato Chips.

Once, in a fit of teenage rage, I sliced the entire bottom of my foot off walking up the stone steps of our laundry room. And through my incredible teenage rage, I didn't register the pain or blood and walked around my carpeted house with my foot bleeding so profusely, my parents' came home from a meeting to find me…