My friend's sister is a pre-natal nurse in a pretty old, pretty big city hospital. She asked if we wanted her grossest story, and here it is:

Thoughts in order of occurance:
- "No. This would be the greatest case of Law and Order ever."
- "I wish jury duty could always be this entertaining."
- "As a lawyer, it must be a rare and entertaining day when these questions need to be formed."

THIS IS NOT MY PERSONAL STORY, but it's that special brand of "holy shit" that I thought it deserves a read - some of you may have already come across it on reddit.

I worked for an Ob/Gyn and I can't tell you how many times women have come in to have them removed. The common thing was they forgot they had one in so inserted another. The record was 3, and the smell was damn near toxic. Very disgusting.

Not really disgusting so much as hilarious.

*ties tubes*

I WANT IT TO ALL BE FAKE TELL ME YOU MADE IT UP

Cannot do homecare for that reason - people's houses are terrifying. Bless you for making it through that. HHA was the first time I saw maggots in a stage 4 pressure ulcer (sadly, it wasn't the last time - there are some SHITTY nursing homes out there).

Do you know what an epilator is? It's THIS gnarly creature. All this stuff rotates somewhat effectively "plucking" hair out. Bikini cut time. My freaking labia got caught up in that thing and WRAPPED AROUND IT. Thanks to baby cheeses it didn't cut me to death and my labia being caught up in it was enough to bog down…

My tia, who passed away recently, was a doctor. This was one of her favorite stories:

nope, nope, nope, nope. NOPE. I WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME.

I was working home health in an infamous little inbred town and had to take over a client for another nurse. I knocked on the door, and she yelled at me to come in. I opened the screen door, as roaches started falling into my hair. And there she sat. This huge Jabba the Hutt creature, on a sofa with hundreds of…

I have had C. diff about 11 times, which is a kind of diarrhea that causes an abdominal writhing like your intestines have turned into snakes and they're attempting to have an orgy, but also they're really drunk on vodka-redbulls and they don't have any flashlights. At one point I was literally spending twelve hours a…

I was working in a clinic in rural Africa when a kid came in with a large abscess (pocket of pus) on his cheek/jaw - roughly the size of a softball. It needed to be drained so I made a little incision in his cheek and the abscess basically exploded (think poking a hole in a balloon…only a balloon filled with pus). …

HAHAHA, I DO THE EXACT SAME THING!

BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT TO WEAR OR HOW TO DO YOUR HAIR OR WHAT KIND OF SHOE GOES BEST WITH YOUR EYESHADOW OMG.

Here's a pretty thorough roundup of the magazines and other entities that keep Richardson in business, for those who are interested in boycotting his work.

Ooh, guys, she's so edgy and avant garde! "Jism".