I know it hurts your fee fees, but you’ll feel better when you don’t get shot by the police for breathing wrong.

A short application...plus the time it takes to take the entrance exams, fill out the fee waiver paperwork (correctly, or else I assume they’ll get a financial hit), and line up applications and deadlines to make sure that they don’t miss something and accidentally screw themselves out of a diploma.

“Chicago is the first district in the country to make this a graduation requirement,” Jackson explained. “This is because it’s an extremely stupid idea and I can’t believe that this is real life and not some idiot nightmare. Shouldn’t we be doing something about our poison-water?”