This seems like an appropriate time to break out a nice video from The IT Crowd:

http://youtu.be/OgWhT9rDO2g

The elephant is so gentle, simply wanting to wake the dog. Amazing animals. I once saw a trainer abusing an elephant for a circus that was in town. I never, ever went to a circus again. I could tell what the elephant was feeling, and couldn't believe what I was seeing. Yes, I was a sensitive little Ogre. Fuck…

TURN YOUR CAPS LOCK OFF, BLESSINGS.

Just got some intel that Team Goat's planning a military coup.

Stop fucking slapping and hitting the cat, you asshole!

In soviet Russia, orangutan fingerbangs you.

Let's end humanity once and for all. We all know it would be a good thing

We could just go with "white", it doesn't even matter what nationality he belongs to or where he's currently residing. Everytime I hear about absurd shit like this, it's always some white dude who's looking for "exotic", "submissive" foreign women who "know how to treat a man". Barf forever.

I have a possibly weird request that I feel could only fly here at Jezebel: any recommendations for good books with non-white lead characters? Preferably female.

I have so many good books right now I keep going back and forth between a few. Here's what I want to finish this summer:

The one and only: