Yeah, I coincidentally just re read the first three Xanth books, which I liked as a kid. ALL the women are so poorly written as to be almost comical. And not in a good way. I was like , ‘Welp, so much for that. Never picking it up again.’

I love my Swell for all those reasons, plus it is the only one I have found that doesn’t leak. They will pry my Swell from my cold dead fingers.

This isn’t an issue for kids, but sometimes an expensive water bottle is worth every penny. I never saw the point of spending good money on something that felt so frivolous, but then I got one for free at work, and I can’t sing its praises highly enough.

I keep my ID on me on walks too, for the same exact reason. Not sure if it’s because I’ve lived in some shady neighborhoods, but you never know what can happen while doing something as innocent as a walk or jog, like this incident has proven. Also Austin, Texas police are dicks. In most places I’ve lived in when you…

When I was sixteen I would sneak out of the house at night get high and read a book (Such a rebel, I know). There was an empty forclosed home next door, and I would get inside via a basement window well and smoke in the basement’s bar area. One night it was raining pretty heavy, and I forgot to bring my lighter. I…

My junior year in college my roommate and I had a fascination with Ouija boards. We would pull it out for every little decision and for every one of life’s great mysteries (Will I get a good job? Will I get married? Where does the other sock go? Is the coke really pure?). Every once in awhile we would get a response…

Attention all news outlets:

My favorite part of this story is the part where Huckabee has absolutely no motherfucking idea who Dred Scott was.

“When Michelle and I came into office....”

This is my favorite one of those weird ads that pop up on the bottom of various internet articles

Seriously. I would not watch this unless I had an old priest and a young priest on hand.

Foul abomination, BEGONE!

Can you imagine the hit your ego must take when you’re cast as an off-brand Dave Coulier?

He’s a goddamn dermatologist; he can fuck right off with that shit.

“As a doctor...”

my dog almost never reacts to animals sounds but yesterday i watched a (different) corgi video and she was on red alert bc WHAR DOG???

My Corgi Pinup. (her name is Maybe, but she models under the name “Sheddy Page”)

It’s been at least since Friday. I think they did an update and screwed with everyone who isn’t using Chrome. (there may be other unaffected browsers) I’ve been calling it the “No-Star War of 2015.”

some time in the mid-90s I fell out of my bunk bed and hit my head. My parents took me to the ER, and the doctors asked me various questions to determine my mental status. One of them was “Who’s in charge at the White House?” I deadpanned “Hillary” and had the whole ER laughing. I was seven or eight.

I’m a straight dude, and god dammit, that really is one handsome gorilla.