Spend the money on the van. Especially the DVD players. I was like you, and thought “Who the hell do my kids think they are, getting to watch TV while I’m busting my ass up here driving?”. Now I want to put whoever invented the in-car DVD player on the one dollar bill.

To go along with whatever gift I give my dad, I give him a card. It’s a fact cards are worthless, so I always to add something special. One time it was a card in Spanish, he took it to work and had some coworkers translate it. Apparently it was very nice.

Man Does Rude and Not Difficult Thing

i can’t fucking wait to try this.

on the one hand, this makes a lot of sense. On the other hand it’s horrifyingly expensive if you don’t have local babysitting help from grandparents so some caution is really in order before you just sign up for this 100%

Is this OK?

I'm starting with the man in the mirror (Ooh!)

"All I have is trolling and #gamergate" has to be someone's tombstone already.

The only excuse that you need to buy a router is, "I don't have a router."

Just think of it as a shelf holding up the ceiling and it's less offensive. Almost.

This piece of crown molding looks terrible!

As others pointed out, installing the speaker is the easy part. Getting the wire there is the hard part, but if you've got the right tools and an accessible attic to work with you're fine. A few tips:

Pizza guy.

First of all, screw you for having a kid that eats. My oldest kid is a good eater, but the other two are a disaster and don't touch a goddamn thing. They'll even do that power move where they ask for something and then say they DIDN'T ask for it once they've been served. It's rage-inducing.

Restaurant/cafe I worked at in college: I'm waiting tables* graduation weekend (the busiest weekend of the year), and one of my tables, who have thus far been fairly reasonable, flag me down.

We need to teach people that it's okay to say you don't like, or don't want to eat, some foods and ask if they can be omitted from your dish. The answer may be no, but at least you can then avoid ordering it. You don't have to concoct an elaborate medical lie to justify it. The waiter is not your mom and dad yelling…

Because she was an ass about it. She was rude to the server as were her friends. If she'd been polite then fair enough it would be mean to laugh, but she wasn't.