Take the money, split it with the Good Sister and figure out how much you can get for your firstborn. Or at least how much you can get to name Bad Sister the godmother. Buy a spinning wheel.

This morning I saw a bike rider come up on the left of cars going straight, then zoom in front of a car to get into the right-side bike lane, and oh my god, what a jackass.

I don’t know when gentiles decided they’re allowed to use “goy” (and used improperly here, no less) but please stop.

I think for some people, it’s a source of comfort. If he survived all of that horror and made it to 113 years with an attitude like that, I’m certainly not about to argue with him.

I don’t really see how he can get offended after saying “I heard you get sodomized quite often”. I mean, her initial comment about the demon was off-color, but no more off-color than the fact he chose to be in a scene that played a rape as comedy in the first place. And her response was, if anything, a de-escalation…

“One of Usher’s most impressive performances, quiet as kept, is one not many people got a chance to see. It was April 2012, a one-night only show. You had to be in New York City.”

The pill almost sent me blind when it upped my intracranial fluid pressure to such scary high levels the docs in the ER thought i was dying of a brain tumor. No one should be buying that shit over the counter.

Also, for some women, some types of birth control can be unsafe or ineffective, which is why they require a doctor’s examination and a prescription.

I think she’s by far the most dangerous Trump, because she acts as the counterweight; she’s beautiful, poised, and is able to maintain a certain level of composure that makes her look like a damn rocket scientist compared to her father and his surrogates. And while most of us here can see behind the green curtain,…

Cosmo was in a perfect position to do this. Everyone, including Ivanka, thinks they’re a dumb ladymag full of nothing but penis touching tips and other questionable advice, but their political reporting is actually pretty damn good.

Yes Ivanka, Cosmo readers do and should care about issues impacting women and children (and families of all kinds) which is why they fucking asked you those questions.

Y’all I don’t understand the urban hipster farmer’s fascination with chickens. Take it from a country girl whose mom had some: they are NASTY AS FUCK. We had 3 when I was younger and of course when my parents would go on a trip I’d have to take care of them. When a coyote finally got them in the middle of the night I…

I mean if you can’t trust this guy.

“We consume 500 million straws each day. The equivalent of 127 school buses filled with straws. It’s disgusting, ” Adrian Grenier declares the minute I sit down, brandishing a plastic straw that the waiter had forgotten to remove. “There should be children in those school buses, going to school, to learn, not straws,”…

Anybody who "lectures" a waiter, about anything at all, is a tool. Give your order and shut up.

I never could have imagined the nostalgia I feel for “compassionate conservatism” aka “not being a complete dick about your bigotry”.

Wait, does Mary think 2 Timothy 3 is helping her cause? She thinks that is describing Trump in a positive way?

I’ve been critical of the content of 2 of those posts. Having said that, standing up for your beliefs and sticking to a code says a lot. Glad to be a reader, and thrilled to see the above statement. Good luck and I hope you all stick around for the foreseeable future..

There’s a lot of commenters on here that are praying for your demise. Just want to say there’s plenty of people that do not wish that in any way and that indeed support your decisions as a union. Ethics are incredibly important and the fact that mistakes have happened in the past does not mean you have to be doomed…

I'm going to pass on my favorite bits of wisdom that I was told when I was engaged: just know everything is going to get fucked up, and the day is a success if you're married at the end of it. Put things into perspective right quick.