Clearly you have never had an Amy’s cheese enchilada meal. I just finished one mere seconds ago. Heaven.

The whole “Caught my reflection, here’s a description of my ass” bit feels very textbook porn stories.

“UGH I HATE MY WEIRD VIOLET EYES AND FLAME-COLORED HAIR, WHY COULDN’T I JUST BE NORMAL HOT” - every Mary Sue ever

Garfield wrote a mini-opera about how much he hates Mondays.

I didn’t want to fix that flawless God-given typo but I heaved a huge sigh and did it anyway

Whatever it takes for him to stop hitting women.

I also asked her to describe Trump in three words and her response was: “Stupid asshole”

The actor is obviously Jeff Goldblum

Whatever, maybe I’m a sucker but I actually liked the ad. Life is complicated but some things aren’t - if you’ve worked with someone to build something and had a positive experience, why wouldn’t you sit down and socialise with them. Engaging with each other more and straying from our self-imposed “camps” is what we…

God damn, is there NEVER a tweet that shows him sticking his foot up his own ass?

Just more proof that animals are better people than humans.

I have a hate/love/hate relationship with Kylie. I love the fact that she calls herself King Kylie on many of her social media sites but I hate the fact that her username on snapchat is kylizzlmynizzle (what does nizzle mean, Kylie, I wanna.hear.you.say.it.). I hate the fact that she’s altered her body so much and…

All I’m getting from this is that it all needs to end in flames.

Donald Trump isn’t a billionaire and he doesn’t have a ton of cash. Only Duestche Bank will loan him money because he’s helping them launder it for the Russian mob. His properties are all probably being used as fronts. One in Soho already got busted for that exact reason. If he had a ton of liquidity, American banks…

I assume it’s like those rich guys with terrible toupees (or terrible comb overs). They think they look great and no one around them will tell them any different.

what? no.

I’ve been introducing my toddlers to TLC this week. It’s been a lot of fun dancing in the living room.

This article is what happens when Trump doesn’t tweet for 24 hours. Sad!