Fuck yeah, “class traitor”

Um, what? I roast the multi billion dollar company and the rich fucks who run, non-stop.

False equivalence. Defending the richest person on the planet and his empire for free is sad. Like, what, you’ll get accepted to rich people status if you stan on message boards? I do this for fun and practice, and because I hate the fucking rich, because they ruin our souls and exploit us at every turn.

Unless you do it for free, like defending the rich?

Hey, class traitor, are you getting paid for defending Amazon on message boards, or just doing it for free?

You still shop at Amazon?

Enjoy the haircut, Nazi

That’s a good start.

Well, there would have been the lingering possibility that it *might* be good, which would have allowed us false hope. This way, we know for certain that it will suck. David Goyer, merciful angel of suck.

Gizmo Begins.

Oh. There it is.

Boo! Get off the stage! You’re not funny!

Wait, Carnivale is coming back?! Since when?

The Gemini Man staring Ben Murphy. It got cancelled after a few episodes, and they clumsily edited two episodes into a TV movie that ended up on MST3K. That is easily one of the best MST3K episodes ever, so just work backwards from that, and BAM! You will own the internet AND take back the night.

You don’t want to know the filthy, wonderful, filthy times they have to precipitate all the hats dropping. You just don’t.

Who’s Batman? Is he like a sports guy?

Democratic legislators are shockingly out of touch with what regular people think, as well as what most people think. Like most semi-closed societies, they’re cut off from the will of the people, and generally too wealthy and corrupt to care. Republicans and Nazis (increasingly indistinct) don’t need the will of their…

You know what? Just for that, I’m partnerrring you up with Regular Legs

The 2019 fascism, she’s *chef’s kiss*

I take it no one knows about a certain grocery store chain’s owners, then?