My cervix just sent your cervix a solidarity bouquet.

I'm only willing to comment on this bluntly because this is a burner account...

I think you may be on to something. Guys will spread their legs super wide to accommodate their genitals under the pretense that they are 'too large' to fit in a standard seating position, but what if it is the opposite? Like your…

Like a houseguest. Marvelous at first and full of possibilities, but if left unsupervised for too long, they can be a real pain.

and now, continuing that rich and noble tradition, the United Kingdom is officially giving us Sex Box, a reality TV show where couples discuss relationship troubles with a group of experts then go in a box and fuck.

"They're making them, what more do you want?!"

We are so lucky to have been raised amongst catalogs.

That #1 Hypocrite ad is fantastic. I don't support the message but I support the ad.

Yup. It is awful! It was compounded by the fact that I'm skinny and eat like a beast so my grandmother used to joke that I must have a tapeworm.

Do we all agree that this woman is pretty much fucking Satan? This is Satan, guys.

This Butt-bow though! From Martial and Armand. Which I read "Martial and Armed" maybe 15 times.

I would immediately buy any item marketed as "really delightful."

She makes her own gin!

You know, if those goddamned trolls hadn't ruined it for everyone, I would be able to post the 1969 moon landing cross stitch/embroidery pattern from LHJ I found at an antique store this summer. It's amazing. Fucking trolls. And also fucking women's magazines for no longer having embroidery patterns.

Wait what? I need to know more about this. I demand that you return to the library and procure more information! How do you make it without destroying the peel? What color rose should I use? Can I eat the rose? It it candied? What if Nellie Oleson puts a frog inside mine?

Sort of like the automatic "two fingers under the butt area of the suit" pull that women do when they come out of the water because invariably our suits creep up our butts?

I know. I can't stop staring at those pictures. It's freaking me out but I can't stop! Quick, somone help me before we wind up in an Infinite Jest situation!

Soylent Green.

Listen, I'm happy to give up soda, alcohol, television, endless web surfing and all my other vices. The minute we adopt national policies to relieve the stress and misery induced by my 60 hour-a-week desk monkey job working for corporate idiots. Where's that study, Science? When are you going to look into how mice…