Him?

"One of his favorite things to do is put on LeBron's championship ring (he has to use two fingers)."

Keith Olbermann: [reads Deadspin story]

**(should have posted this on Jalopnik)

"a knuckle punt necessarily sacrifices distance"

Skip Bayless also has a Tebow jar, but uses it for a different kind of deposit, knowwhatimean?

Cardinal Fan's response:

I guess the WWF has never heard of the right to free speech.

"Discipline for Second Failure to Comply in Stage Two"

+a fifth

"There's no way Wayne Washington actually wrote this."

- Bill Simmons

This was incredibly well written, Wayne, but I feel like it's missing something. I'd suggest shoehorning some lazy pop culture references and footnotes into your piece.

Oh, and then, there's also this: http://www.shopncaasports.com/search/autogra…

Pool basketball videos are the white man's WorldStar.

I didn't realize they needed artificial turf in the new stadium

Te'o: Let's try swimming in the ocean.
Fluker: O....Ok....I think I'm ready.
Te'o: Just start swimming, and I'll tell you where to go.
Fluker: (Jumps into water)
Te'o: Now just swim to where that gull is, and come back!
Fluker: What gull?!?
Te'o: That gull floating right there, what are you, blind?!
Fluker: Wha...(gurgle)..…

So I'm just going to put you down for a shank.

How far can you punt a football?