I'd rather pick up each piece of glitter piece by piece and store the gathered pieces in my eye than I would get to work on the next project I have to deal with.

It's less about what the answer is, and more about how it is in tune with your own answer.

I didn't date a lot and I don't know where any of my ex's are but one. And I only know where he is because he keeps showing up in the local crime blotter, busted for making moonshine. Bullet dodged? Oh yes indeedy.

That's a whack peeler.

Ugh. As a former retail worker, I feel bad for the employees who are going to have to explain this policy change to very angry shitty asshole customers. Despite signs. Fuck.

Fair point I was hoping it would be like a regular office you just get to raid the guy who got fired's cube. But I'm also from NJ we were in the political corruption business long before Illinois.

Of course! And I would keep that in mind. But, you know, you do need this information. Understanding someone's sex drive is part of that package in a relationship for most people.

It's the worst. Sometimes I end up behind somebody who clearly sees buying something as a social opportunity and, while I sympathize with what I assume is pretty crushing loneliness, it always pisses me off with how inconsiderate it is.

Women: Never ever vote for a Republican.

Have you tried telling them that if they were going down on a clit like the good lord intended they wouldn't have to spew such vile gender-based crap all the time?

It's not so much a question but I always ask for 2 things. 1) Don't ever tell me something you don't mean and 2) Always be honest. I'd much rather have my heart broken asap instead of finding out you were lying to me for 5 months.

OH, MAN. How long would that receipt be?

My first reaction to this was that it's an incredibly cruel thing to force on your just-barely-above-minimum-wage-(maybe) employees of all races.

Also coming soon to Starbucks,

I will use a tissue AT LEAST three times before throwing it away. Idgaf if people think that's gross I WILL NOT waste tissues. They are fucking expensive and I always forget to buy them.

Recently, my mom got invited to my cousin's wedding, but I wasn't on the invitation... so we asked. It was a small wedding, so cousins weren't invited. The point is, we didn't assume that cousins were invited. I would have liked to be there, but I understand, and got over my (very slight) hurt feelings very quickly.

My inner Smartass Nature salutes your inner Smartass Nature over that hilarious "pin some squares over the shoulders of a tank top" tactic. Namaste.

LOL! "Choose the form of your Destruction!" "Don't think of tampons, don't think of tampons..."

I wish Michelle Obama would announce she is running JUST to cause the Republicans to have a complete mental breakdown. Then a few days later be like, "Gotcha bitches!"

That's so cute! We had tiny bubble bottles on the seats. Not a lot of people walked off with theirs, but I do have one friend who occasionally produces a bottle from his jacket pocket and blows bubbles at people. I like to think he grabbed a giant handful of the bottles on his way out of the reception.