If you are picking up women at a playground, probably best to ask their age.

I did ribbon wands too for the ceremony!

Agreed! We had plastic cups printed with our names and the date and put little bags of Star Wars shaped chocolates in them. We got the silicone ice cube molds and did chocolate X-wings, white chocolate R2-D2, and mint chocolate Han Solo in carbonite, plus a couple of large butterscotch Millennium Falcons. People loved…

A friend of mine and I had this conversation yesterday - he's getting married and his bride to be wants to have starfish shaped wine bottle stoppers. He asked me what we did for favors (he was at my wedding a year and a half ago), and I reminded him that we did the little s'more kits (marshmallows, chocolate, graham…

I like to cut the circles out so the dress is covered everything except my tits and my vagine.

Title is 100% perfect.

So I just watched that (thank you!) and Ilana seems a bit more fun irl than Abbi. But now I'm going to have to watch a zillion episodes of Getting Doug (darn you!) because I had no idea it existed. But which should I pick first?!?! Sarah Silverman? David Cross? So many choices....

I hope they show up and get Doug With High again.

Lemme just get a little bit famous first and be the third guest on that episode though.

Ouch. That title was a little hurtful.

I don't think branches of government can claim licensing rights. And I don't see a "women of the Supreme Court" Lego set as taking sides politically, but maybe I'm biased because I WANT ONE SO BAD!!!

Does this have implications for my beloved dentist Lincoln???

When they said "Woman Friendly" what they really meant was that they wanted "Friendly" Women, apparently...

"Last night i was having some wine, and uh, weed, and then ambien. Or, as I call it, tucking myself in."

Amy knows my life like nobody else.

Ahhhh, the twenties, when a pound of your advertised food containing over 1500 calories was a selling point...

Raisins are the food of the devil. They are worse than candy corn. They used to be delicious grapes, but at some point, someone said, "hey let's dry these perfectly good grapes out and engage in the masochistic fun of shoving small pellets of shit into our mouths." and they get put in EVERYTHING, without my fucking…

The faith groups are demanding that they continue to be given federal funding

We are now seeing the direct consequences of the 2014 elections. With a Republican in the Speaker's seat in our House of Representatives, New Mexicans must now face these regressive policies.

It was meant to be fiction you stupid bagging lemur chodes! Not a fucking handbook to set up your woman hating utopia.