Well folks, it finally happened. The NRA warned us all but I didn’t believe them. Last night as I was watching the debate there was a knock on my door. This startled me since I didn’t buzz anyone up. Maybe it was a neighbor who needed something? I ask who is it as I check the peephole and it was President Obama! At…

We got this one kid, Mongo... He’s got a forehead like a drive-in movie theatre, but he’s a good ship. So we don’t bust his chops too much

“Gunshow Poophole” is, I believe, a popular franchise of gay pornography in the “muscle worship” genre

HEY NOW #notallbowlers

Oh YEAH? I heard that Hillary FORCED Chelsea to suck on her breasts for YEARS.

again!?!?

That explains why they make Hootie cry

God what an unnecessarily aggressive post I wrote. I think this is a silly article but sorry I was so weirdly furious.

He is a superstar in the making and he is all ours.

Awesome. Now we just need 10 more.

I’ve heard that he cannot palm a golf ball.

Brigham Hung

“May we feast on the little black child, now, daddy?”

Harambe liked Nickelback.

Arizona is Arians Nation!

The sad thing is, this is how the world really works.

I don’t know, but they need one. I debated for like 20 minutes last night with my own four-year-old over whether or not it’s called a “rear view mirror” or a “review mirror,” so I know all to well how fucked up that generation—and their shitty parents—are.

Tony Romo’s Back, Is Broken

I feel the same way about overly gigantic tie knots.

This is a dumb argument. Everyone is allowed to drink whatever the fuck they want. When I'm at home relaxing and watching sports, I always go for the more expensive stuff like Guiness, Founders, or Gulden Draak (if I can get my hands on some). And when we're having a barbecue and want to play some beer pong, I get PBR…