I'd be surprised if there weren't hipster bars in Brooklyn or Chicago that tried to stage their own Legends of the Hidden Temple competitions, with disastrous results.

Yes, but does she forget her troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream?

"You keep using my words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean."

I was too young during the Turtles' heyday to appreciate the subtlety of Raphael's character. I was all about pizzas and "Cowabungas."

Woozle wuzzle?

Yeah, the Lions franchise has really gone downhill ever since they released George Plimpton. He wasn't Johnny Unitas, but he was arguably better than any backup QB the Lions have had since

Weird. I don't remember Marv Albert having his own Saturday morning cartoon series.

Mmmmm…rich creamery butter.

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I think the Pats are about one injury away from holding open WR tryouts. What's Troy Brown up to these days?

Considering how weak the Bronco's offense has been and how banged up the Pats' offense is, I think the Denver-New England game might finally give us the 0-2 final score that Teti's been waiting for.

Yup. Even the eggs they make in the scene after the big dinner look amazing.

I gotta try that. My rig of four puppets on rails that look like the Jackson Five is getting to be too cumbersome.

FORMER President Bush.

"Living presidents never appear on dollar bills." Yup, that's the unrealistic thing about the whole trillion dollar bill concept.

I just stick with the ol' "Oh yeah, the taxes! The finger thing means the taxes!"

SI actually did a story on Henson for their "Where Are They Now" issue this year. Apparently he's doing pretty well for himself as a scout for the Yankees.

And let's not forget that they have not one, but two of Tom Brady's former backups on their roster. Belichick clearly wants to make sure the Texans stay the hell out of his way.

The point is, quarterbacks shouldn't date hot women. Those are definitely the only instances of that happening in football history, so there clearly must be some kind of curse.

I couldn't even bother to watch last night's game. It's bad enough the game was the Jaguars fighting the Titans for last place in the worst division, but those uniforms just straight-up hurt my eyeballs. It was like watching the sun get in a fight with the sky.