He's more of a clear liquor man. When they finally get around to a show about Russian vodka magnates who are also secretly gangsters, he'll be first in line.

They can call the new movie Creed all they want, but there's no way in hell I'm not going to call it Adrian's Revenge.

I'm also a big fan of "Of course it's hard. If it was easy everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."

Whenever I hear good advice, or the word "advice," I can't help but fake-yell "That's good advice!" as Jimmy Dugan after he wrote that those kids should "avoid the clap." Nobody ever gets the reference, but it tickles me all the same.

As a Bridgeport native, I've never understood why outsiders say they're scared of Bridgeport. Is it depressing to drive through downtown and see tons of abandoned buildings? Sure. But unless you're an active gang member or spend time near them there's very little in the way of actual danger.

"Jenny" never fails to make me laugh. "Rambling through the Avenues of Time" makes me cry if I've had enough to drink. So those two.

He's pushing 30 now, so punch away.

Did people really "hate" either movie, though? They became punchlines after they failed at the box office, and people were clearly disinterested in them (or else they would have seen them) but I don't know that any people actively hated them.

I agree with that. I think not knowing the proper use of semicolons and em dashes actually made me a better writer. I was afraid of using them incorrectly, so I just got in the habit of not using them at all.

Yeah, for some reason Hammond's Colonel has a creepy vibe to him. It's ever so slightly unsettling.

Plus whatever Adult Swim pays him to play with action figures.

Here's my pitch: they go the Human Centipede/Blair Witch Project route and set the sequel in a world where the original movie exists as a movie. The sequel then follows the lives of hopelessly romantic nerds who believe that you can convince a beautiful woman you've never spoken to to fall in love with you by writing…

But then that gets followed by the most devastating thing she could have heard from the nurse: "He says he's sorry you don't have any bad memories of him."

Heat vision can't melt steel beams!

Does it really count as a "Mixtape" if it's just "Two Princes" over and over again for 90 minutes?

Sounds about right. Alfonso Ribeiro probably needs the work.

Dipping your balls in things is great for the core.

Also, I love how badly written and boring the article seems, while the characters treat it as if it's Pulitzer-worthy and ground-breaking.

I'm sure by this point Futurama wins by hit-or-miss ratio, but I don't know that any fake film strip can top "Zinc."

Isn't that what UNICEF drives were for? I assumed they had us collect pennies so that they could be taken out of circulation and destroyed.