That thing is rad. Way cooler than the chocolate-eating mouse that was in my apartment Friday night and in the dumpster Saturday night. Spotted him as I was getting ready for bed, investigated, and found out he’d chewed in to a package of lindt truffles and eaten half of one. Those are my sea salt truffles, you…

“Peace”... jesus.  My kids call it War as it’s supposed to be.

+1 tub of vasoline

Be a good person. The bar is set really fucking low.

I did not learn to properly use a Kleenex until I was thirteen.

I absolutely HATE the new pop-up ads! So sad that the Deadspin we all know and love is being slowly killed up upper management.

Stop being wrong

“Chobani has opened a $21 million research and development center in south-central Idaho.”

Oh fuck yeah, HamNo writing about yogurt. It’s been so long since my last fix, but this is the shit that keeps me coming back to Splinter.

I don’t even care about yogurt; I’m just so glad Hamilton’s yogurt war is back on. The is the quality content I read this site for.

This whole “binders full of women” thing is a new low for the Republican Party.

YESSSS IT’S 2012! IT WAS ALL A DREAM!

Aside from economic inequality, labor politics and fitness frivolity, your yogurt beat is my favorite beat.

HamNo Yogurt Post!!

Jesus, you BOTH did it wrong. It would actually be:

I’d like a follow-up episode so we can find out what these “in-laws who foot most of the bill” say when they realize their son-in-law invited a random fucking friend along to join in the mooching.

One of those kids is probably his.

watch a lot of kids pee, do ya?

You okay, man? Need a glass of water or something?