Then Trump just started babbling in all caps the same way my sisters did after special counsel Dorothy Harriot finished her investigation and concluded that she was just going to whip everybody’s ass. 

Someone had yet to learn you don’t hide a lit cigarette in a sock drawer, no matter how much those sound like Mom’s footsteps?

A brown diamond is about half a step away from being a charcoal briquette.

I understand that for some (most?) people, an engagement ring is not only a physical representation of your love, but also a status symbol meant to convey the kind of bride you fancy yourself to be.

Good.  That is all. 

take his gun away.

 No I try to stay a novel behind because sometimes it's a long time between novels and I like knowing I have a new one waiting.

Thank you, I don’t think they are horrible, I think they have always lived comfortably and they have no idea.

No cookies, your english is fine. It’s their souls that are horrible.

ALL DAYS....part of my job is to work with people who experience food insecurity. and those who judge them can fuck off and die.

Referring to a letter received by a mother who owed $75, he told WNEP, ““Where did that $75 go? Is it going to cigarettes? Is it going to alcohol? We don’t know. That’s right, we don’t know that,” he said.

Our premise was that there were a bunch of teleportation accidents and people arriving missing limbs and stuff like that. Hence the rioting. 

Oooh I thought of another one. We convinced my daughter that teleportation totally exists, but it was illegal due to the Great Teleporter Riots of the early 90's (she was born in ‘97). She wasn’t sure whether to believe us, but I let my dad in on the joke and one day Grampa started talking about the Teleporter Riots…

Seveneves Neal Stephenson.

Exactly right. Why is it so hard for men to NOT kiss or hug someone as a greeting? I mean, this is a business relationship, not a personal one. If you’re not going in for the kiss on the men, don’t do it on the women.  

And, even if you have insurance and a referral to a dermatologist, if your bump is classified as cosmetic only, your insurance won’t pay for it unless it gets infected or something.

I’m pretty sure everyone in this episode mentioned going to their doctors and being told there was nothing that could be done for them.

a lot of people (myself included) let something go too long because they’re scared/embarrassed.  Human psychology is weird.  Early detection/treatment is always better and yet ultimately I think a lot of us deep down truly think if we ignore something, it *might* go away.  Which actually is sometimes true.

Embarrassment, lack of insurance, unable to get a referral to a dermatologist, being told that there’s nothing to be done by a GP.

Because insurance companies are assholes.