Airbag inflator and a bag of poop.

I really doubt spraying someone with glitter counts as assault.

Should have had the box release a cloud of 3M 77 Spray Adhesive just before releasing the glitter. 

I’m happy to get the ball rolling. 

I broke the rule and stayed way too late at my holiday party this year, just got home about half an hour ago 1:30am PST, didn’t break my face, or anything. Danced all my alcohol away. I think the rest of my team overdid it however, I’ll be a good boss tomorrow and cover for them while they sleep it off.

Thank you!

STORY TIME:

I made the biggest mistake of being one of the last to leave one year. I also made another mistake of bringing my flask full of 151 because we were only permitted 2 drink tickets at the door (I didn’t expect the execs to be handing them out by the fistful later to anyone who walked by). I stayed too later,…

*Nanoprobes

I’ve seen this movie, it doesn’t end well for the scientists.

Must be, every cat I’ve tried it on has gone nuts for it. 

I mean I get it, don’t hurt the books and all that. But also, if this is the biggest complaint about him, are we seriously going to get outraged over this?

A character from the Mighty Boosh called The Hitcher, he sings a song about eels.

Grill baby, grill!

I’m surprised people don’t do this. I live in Vancouver and if anyone is familiar with the rental climate here you know that having to move frequently is an irritating fact of life.

“You’re walking through a red forest, the grass is tall.”

These remind me of the Muppet Martians

Let’s be clear here, in relative terms for the average person with even $100,000 net worth that is a donation of only $0.6!

I actually read this in Trump’s voice... 

When my partner and I moved into our first apartment, a roughly 300 sqft shoebox, our first purchase was a countertop dishwasher about the size of two large microwaves $250, fit perfectly in the cabinet under our sink and ran the hose out through a small hole in the side of the cabinet. That thing was an AMAZING and a…