“peas and carrots peas and carrots”

You ok Elon?

Don’t forget Keanu.

I swear to god if something comes out about Tom Hanks I’m going to burn this motherfucker down.

Seems like it should have been really easy to write him out of the show for this upcoming season.

Two random medium length words stuck together is still my go-to and far more memorable. I just wish sites would allow that option as an alternative to the stupid “must include one special character” rule.

This is bullshit, antiperspirants do not cause cancer:

Sounds like Laurel with someone whispering “yanny” in the background.

Yeah I heard Yanny first, then heard undertones of Lauren so I focused on it and then it switched to Laurel very obviously and I haven’t been able to switch it back. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I love the “do not use” warning.

“Stop worrying about depression and just get happy”
...

Whenever I experience nausea I have this vivid image of biting down or squeezing what I can only describe as a circular foam object with hard bits like ribs but sharper. It’s been exactly the same image since I was a child.

I had a mechanic once tell (and then attempt to demonstrate) that I could ‘clean’ my squeaky brakes by “going down a quiet road and lightly pressing both the brake and gas simultaneously and driving for a bit.

A month or so later (after he said my brakes were at %60 and didn’t need to be changed) they wore down to the…

“It’s unsafe to drive with one hand for an extended period of time.”

This.

Yeah I never gave much though to parallel parking until I moved to downtown Vancouver 7 years ago and became a PA/runner for an animation studio. I became an expert at parallel parking real quick.