Will he, though? It is Jalopnik, after all.

It’s ok, we are all wrong sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up over this very poor opinion.

I thought it was funny.

I seem to remember a good number of highlighted BaT listings back in the day. As long as they are interesting and mixed in with better quality reporting I have no issues. 

Jalopnik’s been letting in some low effort clickbait recently, but this really takes the cake. Fire the editor who greenlit this, then fire the guy who hired that editor.
Except that was probably a herb.

Steve, welcome to Jalopnik. You’re going to need to do better than this. 

Glossy, non-metallic paint RULES!

I’ll take my roadster in green with bronze wheels

You can literally get Hondas and Toyotas in exciting colors.  Relax

For all but like, 5% of the country, they are

Get in, start the car, then spend a minute or two adjusting my seat, selecting what I’m going to listen to, running back inside to grab that thing I’ve forgotten, etc. etc.

You're perpetuating a myth with another. All seasons are absolutely perfectly fine for winter in a lot of places, even those that get a little snow.

Getting impaled by a non-collapsible steering column would not be my preferred way to die. 

I think it’s because old autos didn’t have overdrive. So they had quite a bit of engine braking on the highway. Engine braking on ice is bad news because if they start sliding, you’ve gotta give it throttle which is very non-intuitive for most folks.

True story. I was taking this girl to her ballet class at university in December 7 or 8 years ago. She was really cute and clearly waiting for me to make the moves on her. We pull up to the school, with it on my left across the road, and 3 juicy spots of parallel parking on the street in front. Snow covered roads, my…

Really the myth is that all seasons aren’t fine in the winter. For all but like, 5% of the country, they are. All season in 2021 are totally different than the ones that weren’t sufficient in the cold 30 years ago.

I don’t do it for the girls, I do it for me

You forgot your /s, bro.

I’ve heard that “thrown clear” myth so many times. It baffles me; unless you’re in a convertible, you’ll be “thrown clear through the windshield” resulting in a broken neck and massive lacerations.

Oh, you’re that guy.