This is the best campaign commentary to come along all season. I expect nothing will top it before November, either.

Mitt Romney is Elrond. Was a big part of the battle back in the day, but now is having none of it - would rather go to the Undying Lands, but then is still occasionally making comments, giving input where it's not wanted. Also he messed up the first time around, and does that mean Obama is Isildur?

I dunno, I think Trump is more like Lotho Sackville-Baggins. He is a ruthless businessman and a bully, and took advantage of the political situation while all the decent people were terrified of Sauron and their strongest fighters were away on the front lines of Mordor.

No one is Frodo. No one is Sam.

Following the 2008 primaries, I think Hillary is more likely Gandalf the White. She fell, it looked like she was dead (politically), she came back shinier and newer, a little less trusting and a bit more likely to snap at you. Also, no fucks left to give.