I was wondering about Cloning animals in danger of extinction myself. Sure would be more rewarding than Cloning more sheep and cows. Put it to use on rhinos, tigers, elephants and all the other wildlife facing extinction because of the greed and stupidity of the human race.

I was thinking we could let Babs adopt him, so she could pay for the cloning for us.

One story down from this one is Streisand cloning her dog (I can’t bring myself to read about it, am I right that there’s more than one clone?). I suppose it’s just down to how much we care to spend on rhinos.

We need to call in these boys and get it taken care of...

Collect and freeze his sperm,

In my dreams, I logged into Jezebel and the headline said

They might as well go with crossbreeding the species at this point. 3 individuals does not a viable gene pool make. The inbreeding required to keep a 100% northern white rhino line going (even if Ol Pejeta gets it up) would make West Virginia blush.

Someone better lock up those Trump sons until he’s back on his feet.

Honestly fuck the Chinese in their “insert endangered species X” makes my dick work culture. We invented Viagra. It works real good. Trust me.

Hanging up on people with a flip phone was just so satisfying. I used to flip my motorola shut and hurl it against the wall and that thing was fine.

Blaming technology for increased suicide risk is like blaming mac and cheese for high blood pressure. Sure! Kinda! But also not really at all.

Stephen this whole post is totally unfair. It is entirely possible to be a topless model AND a genius. Look how Jenny McCarthy figured out all the science-y stuff related to the vaccination conspiracy even before any of those scientists did.

If an extraordinarily strong stomach counts I guess it could be legit.

I feel bad for Barronn because there’s no way He turns into anything but a raging asshole. Kid never had a chance.

That’s what she gets fucking with Donny’s horcrux.

Ok, you assume you need to be a genius to get it, you only need to show: 

Maybe her parents received an EB-1 too, because they are exceptional... exceptionally sneaky.

Regular models get the H1B same as people with a college or masters degree.

As far as I know you can lose it.

Ok real talk, what does Melania do? I mean prior first ladies have all been really active with social outreach programs and public relations but you never hear anything about Melania.