Would “that was quick” qualify as a “Flash” joke?

Liddy was a self-aggrandizing moron. The best kind.

Currently in first place in the American League Central. At least wait until they’re actually blowing it.

How on earth do they select the people who are going to shoot him?? I can only  imagine who would fucking volunteer.

“Wait a minute, I have three ideas, and none of them relate to one another.”

They should just reboot the same four movies over and over again, every two years. After five or six attempts they could go back and release the original versions and no one would know the difference, and they might even get better reviews.

Hank Aaron is one of my favorite recording artists.

In a related story, Mississippi governor can go fuck himself.

A maid.

Simon Cowell.

To be fair, it’s impossible to not do something stupid if everybody else is doing it.

Did they give him a Grammy yet?

Don’t give him awards for making jokes about having sexually humiliated people.

Hopefully, it won’t be him trading non sequiturs with a monkey for two hours.

If he had it coming for that lame-ass joke, Ricky Gervais should have been shanked about twenty different times at the Golden Globes.

He wasn’t.

Ten years??! When Robert Redford bitch-slapped Steve Martin onstage at the 1978 Oscars he only got two years!

I’d be willing to bet he won’t be winning another Oscar.

I know! When Robert Redford bitch-slapped Steve Martin onstage at the Oscars in ‘78, he only got two years!

Yes. We all knew that. I just had a very long discussion with my family about that the other night, then we cried together.